Confused

I was left in astonishment with what just happened, ‘Did he just tell me he love me?’. After we kissed, we found ourselves looking at each others eyes, I don’t know what to tell him. Silence filled the room.




Then suddenly, someone knocked on the door.




“Master, breakfast is all ready. Do you want me to prepare it at your room?” It was Butler Choi.




Our moment broke and we immediately stood up but I lost balance causing me to fall on my back… good thing oppa caught me but I just dragged him with me and we fell together on the floor causing a loud crash.




Butler Choi knocked again to ask if everything is alright and was about to open the door but oppa managed to stop him.




“Ye- yes..! Everything is fine..! I’ll be out for a moment, Im changing… so you go first Butler Choi..!”




Good thing he believed oppa and left, I don’t know what he’ll think once he sees us in another awkward position especially in oppa’s room… talking about our position… I totally forgot that he’s still on top of me his body between me legs, he was staring at me and I could feel myself melting with his gaze.




I couldn’t look straight back at him especially when I remembered what he told me a while ago.




“Mmm… hea- heavy…” I said




“Oh…! Sorry about that…” as he quickly stood up and pulled me up too. We stayed quiet facing each other and I still can’t face him straightly so I just bowed down my head. He then grabbed my hand.




“Dara… Let’s go” He said, and was about to drag me when I stopped him. I am still lost with my thoughts.




“Oppa… we- where are… we going..?” I felt suddenly felt nervous because I don’t know where he’ll take me especially after he confessed to me.




Maybe he noticed my uneasiness so he caressed my cheek with his other hand.




“Hey… are you okay..? You look pale…” He asked me while his face is just inches away from mine… my heart started to beat crazily again… I’m afraid that any moment I’ll die of heart attack.




“Ye-yes… I’m okay…Where are we going..?” at least I still managed to say that to him, and with that he pulled his hand back and smiled at me.




“Breakfast… Butler Choi must be waiting for us” He said.




I was left dumbfounded. Silly me, I thought we’ll go somewhere… of course we’ll go downstairs to eat.




We went outside his room while his hand is still locked with mine…’Is he serious? I don’t know but the last time he told me he love me was when he’s drunk but today he’s not.. is he really serious?’




I was still lost with my thoughts when he suddenly stopped so I bumped on his back.




I came back to my senses, then he faced me still holding my hand wearing a serious look and as if he read my mind.




“About what I said a while ago… I’m serious with my feelings for you… I know I was a total jerk back then but I’ve changed and I’m ready to prove it to you… I don’t care about anything right now… All I want is to love you Dara…I know it’s hard for you to decide right now… so Im willing to wait…”




I stayed still, my mind was really not working at the moment but my heart kept on thumping so hard, then he turned his back on me and then squeezed my hand.




“I will not let go of you this time… once I gave up on you but this time I won’t… I know it’s wrong but if loving you will keep me alive… then I’m ready to take any risks…”




I was still left in awe, I can’t contemplate with what I am feeling… too much happenings for the morning. I just found myself dragged by him towards the dining hall and realized that we’re still holding hands so I struggled to let go but he kept his grip tight.




The maids were eyeing us but maybe they thought I’m just being stubborn so oppa’s dragging me to eat. We sat down still him holding my hand under the table, and somehow I started to like the feeling of him holding my hand so I stopped struggling.




He brought our hands above the table. I was caught off guard then he tighten his hold while looking at me wearing a big smile in his face. I just stared at him with disbelief but then he released my hand… I felt a little sad when he did that ‘arrgh… What’s happening to me… I can’t even understand myself anymore … I feel betrayed by my own feelings…’




The whole day was so awkward for me so I preferred staying at my room and try to bring my thoughts together. I felt so tired even though I did nothing … Too much thinking wore me out. Then suddenly something hit me…




‘Do I love him..? No it can’t be… I must not… but…’ I thought… the next thing I know was I fell into a deep sleep.