Jealous

Days passed… oppa and I were back from being close. We would go to school together again but I can’t help not to be awkward around him.




He never brought up about his confession again which at least helped my situation.




He really changed. Back then, our ‘closeness’ was different… it’s more on possessing me which was really hard on my part. But now all I could see is his sweetness and gentleness… he wouldn’t force me to do something anymore.




[His POV]


After my confession, I noticed that she’s somehow uneasy when I’m around. I don’t want her to feel awkward so I never brought up that topic again, I also don’t want to force her to love me because it would only bring my old self again… I don’t want to hurt her again.




But when I saw her with another man, I can’t help not to feel mad and jealous. That guy who I saw hugging her onetime… they’re so close.




One time she introduced me to him, Seunghyun he’s her classmate but they’re closer to be only her classmate and she even calls him ‘Tabi’… it makes me felt sick just by looking at them together. But I must compose myself together before doing something that I would regret later.




Hyuna kept being my friend, she at least didn’t judge me for loving my own cousin but she didn’t spoil me as well. We kept hanging around each other and sometimes she would kid around telling me that she’ll wait for me… if only I could make myself to love her… but I know I can’t.




One day Dara brought that Seunghyun guy in the mansion, she said that they would just watch DVDs in her room.




‘She and him in one room? No way..!’ I thought… I can’t help myself anymore… I’ve been fed up with all this jealousy inside me.




[Dara’s POV]

After watching some DVDs… Seunghyun went home... we didn’t realize that it’s already late because we were enjoying our time together… I accompanied him outside the mansion to bid him goodbye… I was caught off guard when he suddenly hugged me… after that he went home and as I came inside the mansion I saw oppa waiting for me and told me to follow him.




I followed oppa until we got to the library… he turned back then pinned me on the wall. I was stunned with what he did… He’s staring at me his stern eyes… I just froze with what’s happening. After so many days that we kept our distance, he finally approached me.




“Why are you doing this to me Dara…?” he spoke… I could feel pain through his voice then he continued.




“What are you thinking huh…? Letting some other guy in your room…? Are you crazy? What if he’ll do something to you huh?




I can’t understand why’s he being like this but those words… it’s as if he’s not mad at me, it’s so gentle yet full of pain.




“Oppa, Tabi is just my classmate and he’s really kind… nothing to worry about…” I smiled at him. He’s holding my waist while I’m still pinned on the wall. I don’t feel scared at him because somehow I liked seeing him like that.




“I don’t like seeing you with another man… it breaks my heart you know..? I don’t know if you feel the same way to me… but please just don’t let other guys near you… please..” he said as he bowed down his head and buried it on my chest.




I don’t know but I felt sorry for him… ‘Is he jealous of Seunghyun? He shouldn’t be…




because HE'S THE ONE I LOVE'




Yes… I love him, as much as I restrain myself loving him I cant help it... these past few days I've been clueless with what I am feeling but now I realized… I love him...




It pains me whenever he’s with other girls, I feel something’s missing whenever he’s not around and I feel butterflies in my stomach whenever he’s close to me.




I love him… I love my cousin… I know it would be a great sin loving him but we already committed one back then… all I want right now is to follow my feelings even though maybe in the end we’ll never be together… Him at my side right now makes everything seems like a dream… that I wish would never end.




“Oppa…. Don’t be worried…. I only see him as a friend and nothing more…” I cupped his face to face me then suddenly I got the urge to kiss him in the lips.




He was shocked when I did that… my eyes were closed while his were wide open… after a while I felt he tilted his head then cupped my face… I slightly opened my eyes and saw him still looking at me but now with softness in his eyes…




I was surprised that I was the one who initiated the kiss… Until it got deeper… I could feel his tongue licking my lips asking to get through, so I slightly opened my mouth and let him enter… my arms were now around his neck while his hands were holding my waist…




We stayed a couple of minutes having our tongues tied exploring each others mouth… It’s been a long time since we did that….




We parted for a while to breath some air… I feel my cheeks were blushing with what I did… but I’m not regretting it for the fact that I already know my feelings for him.




“Oppa… saranghae…” I said while we’re still gasping for air… he looked at me with his eyes wide open again as he smiled softly… he suddenly grabbed me and hugged me so tight that I cant manage to breath… he’s caressing my back and my hair… I couldn’t see his face but I can hear his low sobs…




He released me and tried to face me, I could see some tears on his cheeks so I tried to wipe it off but his hands stopped mine… He held both of my hands and kissed them… I could feel his hot breath in my hands as tears continued to roll down on his cheeks.




“You don’t know how much you made me happy now Dara…” he said as he leaned forward and caught my lips… we kissed passionately while our bodies were both burning inside… he released my lips and hugged me tightly again..




“Lets stay like this for a while… please… I just want to feel you close to me..” He said as I buried my face on his chest… his arms were around my waist and we stayed like that for minutes…




“Saranghae Dara…”


-------


He led me to his room… our hands were still locked with each other… we were both quiet until we got to his room.


Once we got there, we were back from hugging each other, his other hand was caressing my back while the other one was caressing my head. We kissed again, this time more passionately… desires were pouring out through our kiss… our lips were getting swollen by the hungry kiss we shared.


His hands were now down on my waist, keeping me closer to him… then he released me as he smiled at me. I caressed his blushed cheeks and touched his lips… he held my hand and showered it with soft kisses.


He then buried his face on the side of my neck… I cant help not to release a soft moan when I felt his hot breath, he chuckled upon hearing my moan… I tilted my head to give him more access thus his hands were now caressing my breast gently earning him another moan from me.


He started licking and kissing my neck then he stopped.


“Saranghae Dara-ah…. Can you be mine…?” He whispered through my ears, his breath tickled my neck… I didn’t get what he said for I was still drown deep into the bliss of our moment… he’s still caressing my breasts and my knees were getting weaker.


I just nodded on what he said… so he buried his face on my neck and I felt that he sucked a part on it… for a while I could feel his tongue circling around the area that he’s sucking at… I moaned again for the pleasure he gave.


He left a mark on my neck then kissed it softly… I couldn’t stand it anymore for he’s now caressing my thighs as our bodies were so close together and I could feel the hotness of his body.


My knees suddenly collapsed but he managed to catch me in his arms… I was breathing so fast and felt really hot. He carried me bridal style towards his bed.


He put me down gently then lied down beside me… I faced him seeing his eyes full of love… I kissed his lips softly then he put his arm on my waist pulling me closer to him, I still feel the hotness in his body and I know he’s just restraining himself to do further.


I buried my face on his chest…I love smelling his scent as his fingers were caressing the mark that he made on my neck…


“I love you… my princess” then he kissed me on the head.


We stayed the whole night facing each other hugging each others body and listening to each others heart beat.


‘I like this feeling… I hope we could stay like this forever’ I thought.


----


After that night, I wore turtle neck for the whole week even though it’s summer… the mark on my neck was so clear and oppa would just laugh at me whenever I blame him about what I have to wear just to hide that mark.


We knew our border… we’re still cousins in every people’s eyes…. We knew that we’re still doing the same sin again but we don’t care… I don’t want to regret someday about keeping my feelings for him.


‘We’re both sinners of love’


------


Even though I already explained to him my relationship with Seunghyun, he would still always feel jealous whenever he sees us together… we would always argue about it but in the end we would still make up or rather ‘make out’…


I couldn’t blame him because Seunghyun’s really sweet to me… he treats me differently from our other girl classmates and sometimes, others thought that we’re lovers.


[His POV]


One time rumors about Dara and that Seunghyun guy being a couple spread throughout the campus… even though Dara already told me to let it through, I couldn’t help myself not to get mad.


I want to punch him till he get unconscious… I know he likes Dara, I could see it through his actions but poor him… Dara is mine…


But sometimes I feel envious of him since he could express himself to Dara publicly without people judging them… while I can only do is watch her from afar…


If only we’re not related to each other… If only I could tell everyone that Dara is mine…